Out of the Fog: Moving from Confusion to Clarity After Narcissistic Abuse

This book was very enlightening on the subject of narcissistic abuse and achieves exactly what the author says she will: which is to take one from confusion to clarity. It’s brilliance is in organizing and simplifying the subject so well that it’s possible for one to arrive at one aha moment after another throughout, and to then arrive at a most sensible, practical, and even joyful conclusion along with the author. As well as a book that deals deftly with a tough subject, it is also a pleasant reminder of healthy human relations. With thanks,

This book was recommended to me to read by my psychiatrist. I never realized the depth of trauma. I have been through until reading this book. It puts a lot into perspective as well. This book is great for any type of trauma, but especially narcissistic trauma. I would highly recommend this book to anyone.

There are many typos in this book but it pales in comparison to the overwhelming amount of insight, information, and support in this book. I was in an abusive relationship for 9 years and picked up this book to help my teenage daughter who has suffered abuse from the same person. I am so grateful for the author’s ability to make sense of crazy behavior. I could never convince my ex husband to be diagnosed and now I know why. There is no need to diagnose a crazy person with a personality disorder as it doesn’t change anything. I spent so many years thinking I needed to convince others of his abuse. This book not only supports us in recognizing the behavior but also teaches us to trust our instincts. It is a very long path of healing. This book also demonstrated that my exposure to childhood narcissistic abuse primed me for falling victim to it as an adult. Having firm boundaries, loving ourselves, trusting our instincts and surrounding ourselves with healthy people is paramount. Thank you, thank you for writing this book. I will reread it to guide me in future relationships.

This book came at the perfect time for me as I am exiting a 3-year emotional roller coaster with an emotionally unstable person. It addresses so many of my thoughts and concerns - the things that I kept telling myself to convince myself to stay. It’s an intense reality check for those of us who struggle with co-dependency, setting healthy boundaries, and who grew up in dysfunctional families. Only read this book if you are ready to be HONEST with yourself and awaken to the truth of emotional, psychological, spiritual, financial and/or physical abuse. Once you see... you can’t unsee... Thank you, Dana, for having the courage to share this amazing book. I bought the kindle whispersync so I could highlight as well as listen on audible. Listening to her was like hearing the voice of a friend who was willing to cut through the BS (with love and non-judgement), tell me the truth, and show me how to get my life back. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

Loved the message and an easy read for those not familiar or educated in psychological sciences - and/or those trying to understand a loved one. My only bone to pick is I felt there were too many similar and stereotypical examples, and mostly of men as abusers. While the author did write that anyone can be the abuser, the example scenarios did lean heavily towards men abusing women. Also the examples were pretty well known behaviors over and over such as lying, cheating, stealing. Also, when she does refer to woman abusers, it does not dive too much beyond the (again) stereotypical cheater who dresses like a tramp or shops too much etc... I know there are many more subtle or covert narcissistic people out there who are not outwardly vain or engage in risky behaviors. There are many who don't look very good, dress normally, and just terrorize their families but act sweet as pie and giving them the public - they're not all out at bars being the life of the party, cheating, or siphoning money from their spouse! While she does state this - it's not impressed upon and I fear someone may read this without many covert narcissist examples, not realizing that their behavior is also abusive; albeit more emotional or psychological. I had an awful Grandmother who never left the house and was overweight and didn't seem to care too much about the outside world. She didn't cheat or steal. Her fun came from ruining most holidays either throwing temper tantrums over something petty or triangulation between myself and my cousin's (as children no less) - or her own children which gave her twisted mind the negative attention she thrived upon - not to mention put a lot of family members either into therapy or secretly celebrating at her funeral. I was in the latter camp 😁 Obviously my point is, the book is very good as an introduction in general, but I wish the author wouldn't have given only obvious or overt types the spotlight in the examples because someone may stop with that book assuming they might be thinking wrong about someone. They may assume unless someone is an outright liar or cheater, then they must not have a problem or be considered "abusive" and that's just the surface. People can be seriously disturbed and affecting their offspring for decades to come without ever having left the house. Too bad the author didn't mention this as it's more common than many realize.

I am coming out of a 8 yr relationship with a narcissistic alcoholic. I have been in and out of therapy/counseling for this over the last 3 years. Read several books. This book is great for understanding the "trauma Bond" as well as seeing and understanding some emotions you may be going through. i am still in chpt 3 taking notes, cause it's hit home hard! I hope if you are reading this review you can find piece and clarity and now that you are better than what how they treated you!

I highly recommend this book. It has changed my life and helped me begin my healing journey. I have recommended it to a lot of my friends.

I love this book. I could not put it down. I loved that it was in available in kindle form as I could read it with my Narc husband in the room and in the car and it just looked like my nose was just in another book. Meanwhile, i was validated and empowered by this book in a million ways and i found this book at the exact right time that i am planning my escape for healing and safety. At the exact right time, i will ask my teenage girls to read this book, not only to better understand their fathers behavior but to actually educate them on what is a normal relationship, to listen to their instincts, and set boundries for friends and boyfriends and be aware of manipulation-ships. I get the feeling as an abuse survivor (my father and my husband) that i've modeled what NOT to do and this will help me communicate to them the difference. To the author, Dana: Bravo and Thank you. So well done.

Real help for survivors of narcissistic abuse. I hope to read more from Dana! It is easy to read and although I have read many books on the subject it has made me note new ideas.

This book will help you realize you weren’t crazy… it’ll explain to you why they do what they do and why there’s no place for people like them in your life. Well written, to the point and honestly life changing.

I love Dana`s work and I think with her efforts to throw light on the mechanisms of emotional abuse she took part in saving my life and the life of many other victims. Her explanations brought clarity to my confused thoughts and feelings and helped me understanding the dynamics of my relationship so I could realise that it was abusive and I needed to get out. One of the hardest part of this is surely to heal from it, even a long time after ending the marriage/relationship and dealing with the confused emotions you have when you were manipulated and it can take a long time to heal from the PTSD and the confusion. The FOG does not disappear instantly with the end of the abusive situation but can last for a long time. I think Dana did a great Job in pointing out the most confusing points in this book, it helps understanding your confusion and brings more clarity. The book is easy to read, even when you`re not native english (I`m from germany), and it`s neatly arranged with comparing healthy and unhealthy concepts in relationships. I would recommend this book to everyone who ever was in an abusive realtionship or still is in it. I also recommend checking out the other book and her Website and Youtube channel, it could safe your life!

I read many books regarding narcissistic manipulation as I escaped my 12 year hell. This is hands down the best. Clearly written and cuts through the manipulative crap to give you the clarity to take your life back

Wow! It’s a cliche to say things have changed your life but this book certainly has. Ideally we should all read this book before we date or go into the big wide world; in reality you are unfortunately probably reading this as like me you have just escaped a narcissistic relationship or you or a friend may still be in one (((hug)))) FOG = Fear, Obligation and Guilt and the writer explains these are often the core arsenal for abusers to manipulate and control their targets. Dana Morningstar writes how they can be the most charming of people at first and then turn, making the target feel they have wronged them to make them this way and try to get back to how it was, how they play cat and mouse with you to see how far they can push etc At a time when no one understood just what I’d been through and couldn’t understand why I couldn’t just walk away and forget this book was a life safer, it stopped me feeling guilty that I should have seen it, could have prevented it, could have stopped them acting like this if I’d only..., and most of all stopped me from beating myself up about going back time and time again. It stopped me even though I knew it was wrong, wondering if I hadn’t done this, if I’d only tried this... It even explained why dispite going through hell I still had feelings and kept talking about him (apparently it’s good to talk about trauma it’s prt of the healing) Every page was a yes! He did that, yes that’s right to the point the author may have known him; making me feel less alone and less “stupid” By the end of the book which is and easy and good read (not a stuffy reframe guide to controlling abuse ) I feel empowered and looking back a month later I realised it was a huge turning point; I was more positive and confident about my future and no longer pining for him, thinking maybe if I’d done/said/been like ... it all be ok; cause it was never going to be ok; he’s an abuser and I’ve since learnt has done it before and probably will continue. It was the comfort and understanding friend I needed at the worst time of my life. The only down side I felt the other mentioned church a little to much which seemed out of place but then it doesn't have to be a romantic relationship Keep strong, if it feels wrong it probably si and get out - your worth more and you are stronger than you know x good luck and this book is a must Thankyou