How to Argue and Win Every Time

I never have been a fan of defense attorneys. I dislike the long-haired, showy trademark look of some defense attorneys. I am not fond of "tree-huggers" who take up my time with their passion for causes that don't directly affect me in my daily trials and tribulations. Then, I read this book, introduced as a "critical, must-read" by a winning lawyer when I attended a Special Needs Education Law seminar put on by Pete Wright. Mr. Spence writes eloquently. He presents his thoughts so colorfully the reader doesn't even realize he or she is learning until thinking about it afterward. I crammed the book over a weekend in preparation for an official meeting Monday morning where I expected I'd have to negotiate and argue. I used a key lesson from Gerry {I can hear him saying don't call me Mr. Spence please} and I didn't have to argue, although I was prepared. I will be re-reading this book, probably several times, because it is so entertaining and instructional. And, I'm going to name that huge old Magnolia tree growing outside of my house. She is beautiful.

When I was in High School, I was a debater. I picked up this book and it became the basis for how I formulated most of my arguments throughout my debate career, into college, and beyond. Gerry Spence never lost a case. Why? Was he better prepared? Did he look or sound better? I think it boiled down to know what he wanted the outcome to be; tell the jury what he expected them to decide; and giving them all the reasons to choose the outcome he had already asked for. This book delves into all aspects of your work and private life. The key takeaway is being clear about your objectives and articulating them in a way that allows others to want those outcomes to become a reality. How to Argue and When Every Time is a wonderful guide to being a better communicator. I have bought several copies and I continue to give to friends and employees who struggle to be understood. Great read!

This is a book on arguing written by a lawyer, but it is sooo much more than that. It is a book on deciding on the outcome you want, and being enlightened, loving, human and decent in your pursuit of that goal. Having gotten divorced in a legal system where honesty was a losing strategy, I loved seeing that the strategies in this book (written in 1986) might have once worked in a better justice system of a different time. However, this is a book that is almost about enlightenment - about arguing to express love, about arguing to get an outcome that brings you closer to a party rather than increasing distance, about arguing to win something decent. I wish this was required reading for all lawyers and judges, and for all parties to a lawsuit, to elevate the level of the discussion and to bring the focus back on what really is desired, rather than the common course of "the lawyers made $300k and no real results got achieved" that is often the outcome of lawyer brokered contentiousness.

The book was well-written, included some good insight into how Mr. Spence wins cases and persuades people to give him a chance. It really is a study in human psychology, both by the one making the argument, and of the one receiving it. What frustrated me was Mr. Spence downplays logic, when an emotional argument works better. Basically, use logic if it applies, but don't overdo logic, and avoid it if it destroys your argument. I'm sure he's right, but it saddens me that people are swayed when logic isn't a part of the argument. It becomes clear early in the book that Mr. Spence dislikes conservatives and businesspeople. He lumps all businessmen as cold, unfeeling bastards who will try to fire anyone who affects their bottom line...usually at Christmastime. One sees clearly that Mr. Spence likes to use appeals to emotion (logical fallacy) and hasty generalizations (logical fallacy) abound. False dichotomies (logical fallacy) are presented time after time, like this famous quote: "I don't know about you, but I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief." pg. 95. Of course he implies that his (Gerry's) mind, while closed to religious belief, is as open as a cargo door. It also implies that those who acknowledge God's existence are then closed-minded. This presents only two options when there are many. If you'd like to read a book on persuading people, using psychological tricks and you can determine the difference between opinion and fact, this is a good choice. Look out for logical fallacies and many pages of rants on child-rearing, religious belief, and the business world however.

The point of the book is not to persuade you to adopt his point of view, but to adopt your own. It's a lot about freedom of expression, but not his, but freedom for those who don't stand up for what they believe in, even when they are right. I've owned the cassette version for several years and wouldn't think of reading the book when I can hear his argument on tape. I wish I could describe his style. The title is grandiose --and good marketing. I imagine he is a bit grandiose and more than a little self-promoting. But he's got some good ideas to sell, so I don't begrudge the marketing. I read this shortly before winning one of the most important arguments in my life, so it may have been helpful exactly when I needed help. Spence's style of argument borrows from his life. You get a lot of what you'd expect from a lawyer, excerpts from his trials and a brief look at the profession of law. But the courtroom is just a metaphor for a bigger picture. I think the bigger picture is listening to him give advice on standing up for the truth and not flinching when someone tries to cut away at it. I enjoyed his method: imagining mental locks which he matches with verbal keys. He also digs into prejuidice, which seemed like a side trip, but it made sense when he got done. He's got some locks or closed doors of his own, he admits, naming bankers as one group who could just as well stay out on the golf course and not come back. That part made me laugh. How would he know that much about bankers? So I imagined him out on the golf course, with knickers to match his trademark rawhide jacket -- listening in on the conversations. Don't wait for the movie. There might never be one. But you are ready for equal doses of entertainment and insight, get the tape.

I miss Gerry so much. He was one of the few attorneys I respected in a lifetime of dealing with them. It is no joke that early colonial Virginia banned attorneys from their territory - as "vermin". (Andrew Vachss, who reps abused children past 4 decades, is #1 on my scale of attys with honor & integrity). Gerry's book will teach a good intelligent person about the art of argumentation...wIth another atty, gov't agencies, criminal/civil issues and most importantly. a spouse/partner. Gerry doesn't always go for win-lose like so many boneheads today - he creates scenarios in which win-win can be achieved. He also illustrates how sometimes - those who recklessly kill and endanger others due to pure greed can be brought to "pay" for their crimes. Unfortunately, corporate persons don't go to jail & more often than not, they are able to manipulate the final settlement down to pennies on the dollar. Gerry fought a good fight. This book is a real treasure. Not often does an atty honestly tell you how to get along and when to just let something go...Gerry does.

First, the good. In How To Argue, Spence makes the case that argument is an art that anyone can learn. Thus, anyone can deliver a winning argument. But how? That is where the “magic” of argument lies and the author sets out to teach that magic in this book. The central premise is that many people don’t know how to argue because they affix certain “locks” to themselves. These locks imprison arguments, bar you from assuming a successful stance or adopting a winning method. The book thus moves forward detailing the locks (e.g., “I’m afraid to argue.”) and then explaining the keys (e.g., “Fear is our ally”). The first part of the book details what many writers (in the author’s opinion) of how-to books ignore: you, the person who is arguing. As the saying goes, you can’t put a thousand-dollar saddle (i.e., technique) on a ten-dollar horse, so successful argumentation begins with who you are (e.g., prejudices, credibility, listening). The second part details the structure, preparation, technique and art of the winning argument. The third part helps you to understand how to argue with loved ones, your children, in the workplace and with your boss. In my opinion, the most valuable benefit I derived from this book is that it changed how I think about arguing. Listening is actually the most essential skill that makes up the art of argument and “winning” an argument in some cases is the best way to lose, especially when it comes to engaging with loved ones. To “win” sometimes you have to empower the other to reject you; that’s when all the barriers begin crumbling. Next, the bad. I think this book contains too much philosophizing and exhortation, too much psychology and storytelling. If you’re a “get-to-the-point" reader like me, you will undoubtedly get frustrated navigating through lots of fluff before you get to the nuggets of wisdom. Yet, the most repulsive parts of the book are found when the author props himself on a high horse and begins to judge God and religion in general. He goes so far to accuse the God of the Bible of playing “dirty tricks” on people and advising readers that they have a duty to test God. When the author speaks of the divine in such a manner, he only ends up demonstrating his own ignorance. I wonder if the author read his own book and realizes his argument is compromised when he reveals his divine prejudice and consequently hurts his credibility. In the end, this is a book that will equip you with some practical skills so that you can achieve what you want in life. Just be prepared to be taken on some very unpleasant detours along the way.

Given as a gift to a 1st year law student. Gerry Spence makes some interesting points when arguing a position. Taking his points and examples may not help you to win "every time", but you will be better prepared in planning your position to argue and defend. Very helpful for those in law school and in the legal profession. Methods can also be used when winning that argument with your Spouse!!!

Here the writer gives us a practical way to win a argument, with his original storytelling, great style of writing and uniqueness; he leads us to the promised land. He dont need to hide: the author is himself all along the book. He shows us the big keys to success through storytelling, exciting cases, and day-to-day life. Undoubtedly, the writer brings to life this book, he is really someone credible; since he follows one of the lessons of winning the argument: To be honest. To those of you who wish to know how to always win, I am sorry to inform you that this is not possible; nevertheless, for those of you interested in building a strong foundation for the win-win argument, and the art of losing, you will find in these book a lot of knowledge. Recommended for everyone; it doesn't matter the age, sex, religion; (In words of Gerry Spence) we all have a winning argument in our DNA.

O livro chegou em mau estado.

Excellent book from a knowledgeable and informative author.

On the face of it, this book gives an impression that it is a lawyers-only book. However, there's a much deeper perspective to it. Mr. Spence takes us through a topsy-turvy ride of human relationships. The author's perspective is enriching and engaging. Mr. Spence has explained how our mind has been 'prejudiced' by the world and how those very prejudices work against us. He further goes on to explain the reasons of discord between the couples, parents-children and amongst other human relationships. He has given certain rules which alleviates our status, first in our own eyes; before the world acknowledges it. Personally, I was happy to know that in a world of deceit and deception, someone values honesty and integrity and even advocates for these values. Personally, the last portion of the book was 'Enchanting'. Mr. Spence explains why world world functions in such an insensitive and lifeless manner, i.e. without any regard to human emotions and other values. Mr. Spence answers many of these questions. Something which has eluded me for several years. I've read this book thrice (since buying it). Mr. Spence you have won a 'life-time admirer'. Thank-you.

bem embalado, dentro do prazo, excelente qualidade. Não comecei a ler ainda, mas, pelas recomendações, parece ser muito interessante para quem lida com pessoas, negócios e matérias conexas.