Love Me, Don't Leave Me: Overcoming Fear of Abandonment and Building Lasting, Loving Relationships

This book not only succinctly ties everything I have already learned in overcoming my emotional childhood wounds, but has also been extremely helpful in understanding and addressing the wound that made it difficult for me to receive love. The structure of this book makes it very helpful to work through your wounds. The self-assessment test were very helpful in identifying my own particular fear issue. Furthermore, providing the behavior triggers and behavioral reactions to my particular fear trigger was extremely helpful. Although I am already familiar with much of the information in the remainder of the book, it still helped bring clarity to dealing my own emotional wound in a more healthy manner. This book is filled with lots of practical exercises with examples to walk you through the healing process. In fact, as a whole, these exercises are more practically helpful than any other book I have read on overcoming trauma (not the only great book though: Rewire Your Brain, Daring to Trust, Learned Optimism, Willpower Instinct and Charisma Myth were also great. Each touch on key principles addressed in this particular book). The chapter on communication covered a variety of important topics, but also done in a succinct manner that makes it easy to incorporate as I open myself for Building Lasting, Loving Relationships. If you are new to the overcoming the fears and wounds of the past, this is a great book to start. If you are like me and have been working through your wounds for some time, then this book very well may bring a simplified clarity to the whole process. I can actually live the advice in this book in my life presently. I don't have to spend months trying to get a grasp of my wound. I can now live the life I am working towards. I personally got what I needed from this book, even with the needed exercises, within one day. I am glad I bought it and highly recommend it.

Michelle Skeen has nailed emotional abandonment damage perfectly. The struggle is lifelong and she is right to point that out. For me what happened and failed to happen for me as baby, toddler and adolescent when mother was not available for support and was so manipulating makes me panic when a loved one withdraws at all for any reason and then I behave in ways I regret because they are toxic to what I want more than anything in this world...unconditional love. I have also clung to unavailable men in the vain hope that if I can be just what they want, they will love me, falling back into the failed attempts to "please mother". Thankfully, Dr. Skeen teaches us how to change our behavior patterns by accepting the feelings we cannot eliminate...without guilt or shame and then teaches us visualization techniques we can use to let them go... before we over-react. I am starting to feel stronger and better about myself in general now. I am working on something for myself!!! There is no sugar coating on this though. It hurts to let yourself feel things you used to cover up quickly with anger and distrust, but then after some tears, you hook them up to a cloud or floating leaf and let them go. Strangely enough when I look in the mirror lately, I even look prettier to myself! Well, there is so much more to it than this....but in a nutshell, it is a very honest book and the advice very practical and doable. I highly recommend this book for anyone...and there are so many of us, who suffers the primal fear of abandonment.

I read this book on and off throughout the period of a few months, sometimes getting distracted, sometimes sitting back to reflect on what I had read. For a long time, I thought I might have abandonment issues as a result of my upbringing and many of my early experiences, but it didn't quite hit me until I did something I regretted. I then thought to seek some help because that behavior had become a recurring pattern, and found this book. It forced me to confront some self-sabotaging, negative behaviors and thought patterns, and forced me to take a good, long hard look at myself, hard as it was to admit. This book it not for passive reading, it will ask you to keep a journal and write things down. I found that immensely helpful to come to terms with sabotaging behaviors. Remember, healing isn't an overnight process. The journey continues, but this book has inspired me to seek out professional therapy to address my abandonment issues and all that's come with it. Writing is easy to read and the chapters flowed well. The author intersperses her own personal stories that relate to the next topic she's going to talk about. Two of the biggest things I took away from this: Be like the sky, and your negative thoughts are clouds that you acknowledge and let pass you by. And do the opposite of what you're naturally inclined to do once your core beliefs are triggered. Great read and I'd recommend it for anyone who suspects they may have abandonment issues, or low self-esteem!

Many of us fundamentally know that we have abandonment issues ( and other core beliefs described in this book), but we don’t always see exactly how they manifest or how to stop them. This boom provides an inventory to assess your core beliefs, triggers, emotional reactions as well as tips for breaking the cycle. One of the most important aspects of breaking the cycle is be willing to experience our emotional pain without relying on unhelpful coping mechanisms such as clinging, lashing out, withdrawing, etc. The book describes a number of mindfulness exercises to be aware of and deal with painful emotions. However, this is the only place where I believe this book falls short. I think a greater exploration of mindfulness meditation practice would be helpful since most readers of the book would not be familiar with the practice. Nevertheless, there are a number of excellent books, apps, and other resources that can take off where this book leaves off. Without mindfulness, we are just pinballs ina giant pinball machine bouncing our reactions all over the place. There is another way. And I am so happy that I’m on the path towards a happier, healthier life.

An amazing book. I live with insecure attachment/anxious attachment and am often seized by intrusive thoughts, fears, paranoia, and anxiety in my relationship. I am extremely lucky because my partner is the most supportive, encouraging, compassionate, generous, gentle man I have ever met and is with me every step of the way. Reading this book has been an incredible journey and I am much more mindful of my behaviors and more accepting of my thoughts. I practice mindfulness for about ten to fifteen minutes a day now, and it helps me remind myself that (and this was one of my favorite lessons from the book!) my thoughts are just that—thoughts, and only thoughts. I can observe them, accept them as just thoughts like any other thought. I can then label them as core beliefs (my core beliefs of mistrust and abandonment arising again); then I can visualize them letting go and slipping out of me and away from me, and then I can look at reminders of happiness and the present, and choose helpful behaviors that align with my values of trust and compassion and faith and respect. Haha, it sounds a bit easy and simple, but it's not—it's very difficult. I find solace in Skeen's compassionate writing, and I know that my core beliefs will never go away and that's okay because I have the power to choose helpful behaviors. In a year of dating my partner, I have already noticed so many of these fears slipping away and my unhelpful urges (to hypermonitor or hyperinspect for signs of betrayal) being minimized, and I feel so happy and encouraged! I previously read "Insecure in Love" before reading this book, so a lot of the concepts were not new to me! Because of this, the first half of Skeen's book was a bit boring haha, but I still recommend you read both. The more exposure you get, the more time you'll have to learn to be mindful and turn inwards to learn more about yourself and your behaviors. It took me a year to get through both, and that's okay—I'm a slow reader! Thank you Michelle Skeen for your compassion and wisdom. You have changed my life for the better :)

I picked up *Love Me, Don't Leave Me: Overcoming Fear of Abandonment* on my therapist’s recommendation, and I’m so grateful I did. This book has been a game-changer for me, especially when it comes to my relationships. It helped me understand how my fear of abandonment was driving some of my behaviors and reactions, and it gave me practical tools to address those issues. The exercises and examples really resonate, making it easier to apply the advice to my everyday life. Since reading it, I’ve noticed a huge shift in how I handle emotional situations, and it's even brought a pivotal turning point in my relationship. I feel more secure and less anxious, which has made my connection with my partner so much healthier. If you’re struggling with similar fears, this book is definitely worth a read.

I haven't gotten through the whole book yet, only on chapter 4. I will admit that are definitely some good points in there but then there are other sections that seem snarky to me. Like just use Mindfulness and you won't be stuck in your past! Anyone with a history of child abuse knows that it's not that easy and I may not be a point where I can work or use this book because it did feel like it was saying "Just Do XYZ to fix this and if it's not fixed your not doing XZY enough." So that for me personally was triggering and I did have to put the book down. Hopefully, when I am further along or in a better place I can look at it again. But I do want to let other people know it can be triggering!

This book has truly helped me mentally with issues that I struggle with every day. If you're considering buying this, don't think twice and just buy it. I have read it twice since I have got the book and honestly can tell a mental difference with how I view these topics. Thank you tremendously to the author for writing this book.

With this book I confirmed I do have Abandonment Issues, everything looks much clearer now. The exercises in the book helped me understand my thought patterns and my emotions. Yes to living based on Values not on Core Beliefs

This is an interesting book even for securely attached individuals. No human being wants to be rejected, abandoned or mistreated. It happened to me that when I rush intimacy and experience insecurity as a follow-up my mind has trouble following up with what has happened. Thus this attachment is indeed situationally insecure but it is not my general way or pattern when intimacy is not rushed. It was insightful for me as I have a tendency to want to understand and discern the insecurely attached, the emotional unavailable or those who have a deep fear of commitment and engulfment. It is a good guide to understand anxiety, fear and trauma of others in order to act accordingly, and to not blame ourselves for their actions and reactions are the language of their demons speaking. Patterns like unpredictability, instability, unavailability create an inconsistency that needs to be avoided at all cost. This book helps to stay mindful and aware

O pedido era para ser em formato livro, fiz em formato ebook, não estou conseguindo cancelar. Como alterar o pedido?

This is an amazing book if you want to get an insight into your own attachment style. Perhaps you noticed needy, clingy or withdrawing pattern in your relationships and you would like to understand why - this book is your answer. Its full of practical guide/help and exercises into mindfulness and self compassion along with digging deeper into your core values and beliefs. The author of the book also offers help with anything that you are not sure of when reading this book. I've been reading and doing the exercises from the book. This book is an eye-opener. But also very easy to read and you can connect with every story/ case study described in the book. Another treasure added in my library.

Great book