Crazy Love

Finished reading in one day! Crazy, as I am usually a slow reader!! But considering the dangerous charm of author's now ex-husband, I felt like getting addicted to him through pages. Leslie Morgan Steiner is a talented writer who knows how to make you engaged in her very personal story. She knows how to weave the story. I felt like I was there with her throughout the whole 300+pages. This books is very worth reading, regardless if you have experienced this type of abuse yourself or not. It will give you courage, knowledge, wisdom and food for thought. At the very least, it will make you more aware of abusive patterns in your life, and I don't necessarily mean physical abuse or abuse from s.o. Thanks to the author for her courage to speak up publicly! P.S. Thanks to her TED talk I ended up here, buying the actual book.

I'm saddened by the number of negative and stereotypical comments that come from nothing but ignorance on the subject of domestic violence that are posted against not only this book, but the author herself. I work with survivors of domestic violence and all too often we blame the victim for staying, or for falling in love with the abuser in the first place. We fail to see that the abusers don't present themselves in that way until the victim is already entangled in the relationship. That said, I find this book to be a very open and honest portrayal of how relationships of domestic violence start and continue. I commend the Ms. Steiner for her willingness to share her story with the public so that we are able to see an inside picture of domestic violence. As she points out several times throughout her book, she is not the stereotyped "victim," which shows even more that domestic violence knows no bounds; it is not about color or socioeconomic status or education or any other factor that you want to throw in. It can happen to anyone. If you are interested in seeing the dynamics of a violent relationship, I highly recommend this book. Throughout the story we can see Ms. Steiner evolve from a naive young woman looking for love and caught in a web of confusion to a sophisticated woman who knows her own worth and has her own voice. She gives us insight into many different factors that contribute to how a woman can fall victim to domestic violence and why she would stay. I caution people to keep an open mind when reading the book and to remember, it is not a scripted story, but rather an autobiography of one woman's life and experience. Hindsight is always 20/20, and a judgmental attitude while reading will leave you disappointed if you expected it to go like a work of fiction rather than truth.

I read this book in about a day. It was a good story -- a fast read -- and the author is definitely a good writer. I thought that the author was very honest, including information about her childhood, during which the insecurities were created that would ultimately make her accept being abused by her husband. I had one big problem with this book: the constant referencing to Harvard. Perhaps it was that the author was trying to remind us that even a girl, who grew up rich and who was smart enough to get into Harvard, could also become a victim of domestic abuse. However, the continual Harvard name dropping had the opposite effect for me: reading the book felt like the author herself was trying to prove to her own mind that she was somehow still worthy -- she went to Harvard goddammit! We already learned in the 80s that domestic abuse has nothing to do with class or race -- it crosses all boundaries. So why not just let us know at the beginning of the book that the author went to Harvard, and then be done with it? Instead, the effect of continually reminding me where she attended college distanced me from the book, as if the book was only for Ivy League graduates. My advice to the author is to put more trust in her material: the story is good enough without constantly reminding the reader of her (and her family's) Harvard status and high social ranking. The author would have gotten the same job done with perhaps just a couple of mentions, not with a mention on every other page.

This book should be required reading for teenaged girls and young women since it illustrates in great detail the utterly predictable pattern that abusive relationships take: 1. They meet, he completely sweeps her off her feet - he is the most loving and charming man she has ever met and she falls head over heels for him; 2. He tells her of his abusive childhood and she feels tremendous sympathy for him - plus she is determined to make up for all the love he didn't get as a child; 3. He starts testing her loyalty in various little ways - she has misgivings, but rationalizes them away; 4. He puts subtle psychological pressure on her to make a commitment to him (engagement, living together) after they've been dating only a few months; she mistakes his possessiveness for proof of his love and need for her; 5. He makes her feel guilty for having friends, so she sees them less and less often; 6. He makes huge decisions which directly affect her life (he quits his job to move to a remote rural location) without even consulting her beforehand; 7. He hits her; she is shocked but doesn't leave because she is emotionally and finanially tied to him; 8. He absuses her again and again; she is miserable but keeps hoping he'll change; 9. She finally leaves after her nearly kills her and she finally realizes he will never, ever change.

This was a frightening recounting of the author's relationship with an abusive man. I was hoping to find more hints on how to predict when a man would become abusive, but from what the author wrote, it is hard to tell. Conor was charming and sweet, knowing how to play to Leslie's vulnerabilities. It was not until he got her in a committed relationship that signs of violence showed up. In some sense, he felt she was already trapped. Trapped by love, trapped by convention, and trapped by her own pride of not wanting to admit her relationship wasn't perfect. One of the signs was that she paid for and bought her own engagement ring because she wanted her family and friends to think of him as a knight in shining armor. In that sense, she colluded with him to keep his behavior toward her secret. In retrospect, the clues were small, overreaction when a male friend called her and possessiveness when other men spoke to her. Although Leslie's story is not easy to tell, it is helpful to women to know that ordinary people get reeled into abusive relationships and that it is no their fault for being clueless or somehow inviting it.

Crazy Love by Leslie Morgan Steiner takes us into a disturbing, but all too common world of verbal and physical domestic violence through her personal story of being in an abusive marriage. Her experience tells us that everyone is vulnerable to domestic violence. Her story illustrates why women stay as long as they do in an abusive relationship and shows the lack of understanding and support many have while trying to navigate through their situation. Leslie raises awareness to the many red flags of an abuser and points out the fact that during the time period she was being abused, there was little research on why men abuse. When focusing on why women stay, the victim is blamed for her ‘inaction’ instead of putting the responsibility of abuse on the perpetrator. The courage it took for Leslie Morgan Steiner to publish such a personal memoir is inspiring. She shows that survivors of domestic violence can overcome their horrible experiences and thrive in our society. Leslie Morgan Steiner is a role model to all survivors.

Sadly my daughter was recently a victim of domestic violence. I have been reading a variety of books to help me better understand how domestic violence occurs, what can be done to stop it, and how to help my daughter thrive. Crazy Love provided powerful insight into domestic violence and what day-to-day life is like and how it consumes every aspect of someone’s life. The writing was powerful, the story unforgettable. For me, it also gave me hope that my daughter will find true love in the future and a happy ending.

I'm obsessed with books about/on abuse. For reasons that may be obvious. A good portion of my own life was dealing with abuse. And at some point, I found myself in an abusive relationship. People on the outside don't understand, they don't know the confusion the fear of what it's like being stuck in that situation. Why don't you leave? If only it were that easy! You constantly feel like your life is on the line with every wrong move you make. Leaving? It's like wishing for death. Leslie has a great life. She works for Seventeen magazine in glamorous New York. She graduate from Harvard and she seems to have a good head on her shoulders. More into the book you realize that her home life wasn't so great. Her mother is an alcoholic and her father is a workaholic. But Leslie herself made a good life for herself. Then she meets Conor. She didn't seem to have much interest in him at first but decided to along with him (sounds so familiar). At first things are great, he seems to care about her and she stands up for her when her mother starts talking bad about her. But then things start to change. The smallest things would set Conor off, he would never apologize for hitting her or for the things he'd say to her. He'd overreact over the smallest things and compared to his life growing up, he didn't acknowledge the fact that Leslie didn't have it easy growing up either. Leslie did the right thing by following the police's instructions. I admit I didn't have the strength to file a restraining order and must have been the most nerve wrecking thing to have to go through. At one point they had went to marriage counseling and Conor provided her with a list of his "hot buttons" saying that if "things were going to work, Leslie would have to avoid these topics at night". How the hell is someone suppose to get better if they're not recognizing the problem? I think that one line pissed me off the most in the entire book! While thing was a good and interesting read and a great awareness book, the thing that I didn't like about it was that it mostly described her family's vacation homes or her grandparents more than the actual relationship itself.

I didn’t want to put it down - the whole thing is written with the compassion and reality that those who have been abused

Honestly, I was disappointed by this book because of some rude words and contents inside of it. I didn't expect this. I was more edified by the videos of the author than I was by the book. I have to admit that I learned some things. but overall, it was disappointing. I don't recommand this book.

Anyone going through domestic violence or even "thinks" they are MUST read this book. The author is able to explain to the reader how each and every feeling they have is a valid one.

really sad...he loved her so much even in a wrong way. he's also a victim from domestic violence just like she was.

This is a great book to understand why people, especially women get sucked into abusive relationships. But more interestingly, this book helps understand why men abuse women. What goes wrong in their childhood to bring this about? And since this is a true story well told, you are with the author in each high and low of the emotion.