Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person

***** I have admired Shonda Rhimes’ style of writing for years—most especially when one of her character delivers an emotion-packed quirky amazing monologue that is in many ways like a song—and it could be a woman or a man but it’s pure Shonda coming out of their mouths. Wisdom. I am a hard-core fan of her characters and of how she brings them to life. I’ve written down “Shonda quotes” and saved them in my journal. So it was with delight that I began her book last night, the day that it came out, and finished it this morning. No one writes like she does. Fans will enjoy this book more, as Shonda discusses her characters and shows. But this is really a book that by sharing from her life, inspires and empowers women. It is a book that every single woman should read. The writing style is definitely unique, and fun and powerful at the same time. As the author writes, she is known for “giving good story”—it’s “her superpower” and this book does not disappoint. The main theme of this memoir is that on her birthday, Shonda decides to say “yes” to things that scare her and thus forces herself to be brave in ways she never has before. She is an ardent introvert and workaholic who enjoys spending time spinning the stories she writes so well, but she had lost important parts of herself over the years. The book is an honest, raw, vulnerable and endearing memoir about how hard and rough and good it was to do this. This book is full of life lessons. Hilarious stories that made me laugh out loud—a lot. How and why she writes and creates her characters—her process. How it feels to be an “F.O.D.”—“First. Only. Different”. Why she lost 127 pounds in a year. Her “person”—Christina Yang. It delightfully includes several pages of color family and friend photo plates. One of my favorite parts of the book was Shonda’s speech for the Sherry Lansing Award, called “About Ceilings Made of Glass”. I cried after I read it, as I’m sure the women who heard it last year did. And laughed and cheered and celebrated. To read this book made me proud for her and proud just in general for all of the women who have worked so hard to make it possible for women to have a better place in our culture. I loved everything she wrote about being a mother. I’m not a mother, but I loved it still. She wrote about Mother’s Day—priceless. I think of all my women friends who I want to read this. It is a “badassery” book—irreverent but about our female souls—and so important. I didn’t want this book to end. I’d had so much fun. But I couldn’t wait to write the review and weigh in. Highly recommended. *****

I don't really stalk Shonda Rhimes (although I will break traffic laws to get home in time to live tweet Scandal every Thursday night), but when Shonda speaks I do tend to listen. so I was hot on Amazon downloading this book the day it was released. And this is a praiseworthy, life affirming, sister-centric, love filled, thank you Jesus!, Where-has-this-book been-all-of-my-life kind of read. So why is Shonda the unstoppable, irrepressible Queen of all she surveys? Let me count the ways: 1) First off, unlike a lot of authors, she did not pre-seed Amazon with preselected reviewers hitting up all 5 stars and offering formulaic praise. When I signed on this morning there were 3 reviews versus the 20-30 replicant reviews you often see when a new book is released. Why? Because she doesn't need forced praise. The book is good. Very good. And like Shonda herself, it doesn't need fabricated self promotion but can stand on it's own merits. 2) She's funny. Like laughing out loud in public funny. Like people changing seats on the bus because you're smiling and snickering to yourself funny. Like spitting up coffee and pastry on the Kindle screen funny. You get the point. 3) In addition to being funny, she's pitch perfect in her capacity to convey authenticity, vulnerability, and confidence all within the same paragraph. 4) She's also wicked smart and genuinely compassionate. Sadly those two traits sometimes don't travel in pairs. 5) Her year of living fearlessly by fully stepping into her life and saying YES inspires because it shows that even a Shonda Rhimes can suffer from the "Who Me?" disease that afflicts so many women. Granted, Shonda needed to say yes to things like hanging out with the Obama's or being honored as a Human Rights Boss, but she brilliantly shows that despite the loftiness of her life, like many of us she too struggled with stepping into her well earned right to "stand in the sun" without fear or apology. 6) And like a good and righteous Queen, she shares the glow. She has done more than any other TV writer in history to celebrate, and as she says normalize, ALL human experiences by merely allowing people of all orientations, races, and ethnicities to BE and To do and say human things on television. Radical inclusiveness...what a concept. I could go on, but really just read the book. Worth every ducket.

I had purchased Year of Yes on audio way back in August 2016. It sat quietly in my audible library waiting on me to finally say YES to it. And, well, that didn't happen until December 2017. Year of Yes was my last listen of 2017 as well as my first of 2018. I had been going through what I call a funk during October and November. I didn't really want to do anything or go anywhere. I wasn't depressed; I was just sort of burned out on life. In December, as I was scrolling through my library, I came across this audiobook and realized I had not listened to it yet. And maybe, just maybe, it would be the motivation I needed to help me get over my funk. I first became aware of Shonda Rhimes because of Grey's Anatomy. From the first episode I was hooked. A few years ago I became a fan of How to Get Away With Murder. Side bar: Viola Davis is a master of her craft and she deserves all the awards! I still have yet to watch Scandal, but somehow I know I'll love it as well. So it's safe to say Rhimes knows how to write killer television series. And despite her epic dramas and phenomenal writing skills it was the title of her book that grabbed my attention: Year of Yes: How to Dance it Out, Stand in the Sun, and Be Your Own Person. One of the reasons the title grabbed my attention is because I had been saying no a lot. No to nights out with friends. No to events. No to my family. I felt overwhelmed by my responsibilities: work, school, mom, wife, trying to be everything to everyone. It's exhausting. Also, I'm an introvert. Which means I basically want to hide in my hobbit hole for days at a time. My husband is an extrovert as well as one of my children. And I think it's hard for them to understand why I need downtime. But I also felt guilty. Am I spending enough time with my kids, my husband? Should I be saying YES more? So, on a cold December day I started Year or Yes. Shonda (I feel like we should be on a first-name basis now) describes how one little comment made by her sister led her to start her year of yes. Saying yes to things, especially things that scared her, was a liberating experience. It literally changed her life, her attitude, her way of living. Shonda doesn't hold back. She talks about her amazing family and friends, and how they helped her on her path to yes. No man or woman is an island and she gives credit where credit is due. I also like how she pointed out that sometimes we say yes to things by our actions that we should really be saying no to. By the end of the first chapter I was ready to start saying YES to more things in life. Now, I don't have Shonda's resources, so I still have to be choosy about when I say YES. Because this girl needs her sleep! Year of Yes was narrated by the author as well. And I'm glad it was. Shonda has an easygoing conversational manner about her as if she's a friend about to give you some epic advice. So you might want to pour yourself a glass of wine and get comfortable. Year of Yes is inspirational, especially if you're not really feeling it these days. Shonda's vulnerability, humor, and journey will help you find the courage to say YES to life.

I listened to The Year of Yes audiobook and found it to be authentic, courageous, and inspiring. Shonda has a lovely energy and voice which makes the audiobook easy to listen to and enjoyable. I highly recommend to anyone looking for more positive energy in their life.

I enjoyed those book. It is very thought provocative and inspiring no matter what stage of life you are currently experiencing.

Shonda Rhimes is on top of the Hollywood heap. This memoir could have been a throwaway. It's anything but. The craftsmanship of this book is brilliant, and real craftsmanship reflects real caring. Here are some of my favorite quotes: On always, always, always show up: "Am going to say yes to anything and everything that scares me. For a whole year. Or until I get scared to death and you have to bury me." On truth tellers: "The members of my immediate family all share one hugely disgusting criminal flaw. They do not give a crap about my job. At all. None of 'em. Not a one." On speaking your truth: "I can say it or I can eat it." On being a parent: "Being a mother isn't a job. It's who someone is. It's who I am. You can quit your job. I'm a mother forever. Mothers are never off the clock, mothers are never on vacation. Being a mother redefines us, reinvents us, destroys and rebuilds us. Being a mother brings us face-to-face with ourselves as children, with our mothers as human brings, with our darkest fears of who we really are. Being a mother requires us to get it together or risk messing up another person forever. Being a mother yanks our hearts out of our bodies and attaches them to our tiny humans and sends them out into the world, forever hostages. Being a mother is incredibly important. To the naysayers, I growl, do not diminish it by calling it a job." "The only mommy I am ever at war with is me." You can never really say yes until you say no: "No is a powerful word. To me, it's the single most powerful word in the English language. Said clearly, strongly and with enough frequency and force, it can alter the course of history." Learning to avoid avoiding conflict: "Freedom lies on the other side of a difficult conversation. Because no matter how hard a conversation is, I know that on the other side of that difficult conversation lies peace. Knowledge. An answer is delivered. Charter is revealed. Truces are formed. Misunderstandings are resolves. The more difficult the conversation, the greater the freedom." Why need you need to dream and do: "You don't have a job? Get one. ANY JOB. Don't sit at home waiting for the magical dream opportunity. Who are you? Prince William? No. Get a job. Work. Do until you can DO something else." On conflict: "I like to be challenged. I like to be proven wrong. I am deeply suspicious of instant agreement. Instant agreement terrifies me. My favorite part of the book was the chapter 'Yes to Dancing it Out' where she describes how she decided to end Grey's Anatomy. Truly moving.

Let me start by saying I have never in my life written a review, and now my first one is going to be crazy long. My daughter started me binge watching Grey's Anatomy on Netflix a few months ago. I had never seen it before and I started with Season 2 because that's what she was on. Not only do I think the show is awesome, but it has been like therapy. For the last few years my mother, who was incredibly intelligent and eccentric, had been dealing with an inoperable aneurysm, dementia and a TBJ. The person I grew up with was gone and that was devastating. On top of which I could not care for her the way she did for me which was even more devastating. It's a horrible time in my life where I also realized who my real friends are. The way Shonda Rhimes depicted Meredith and how she dealt with her mother's Alzheimer's helped me more than any book or support group. She showed me that my feelings were valid - even though at times the were nostalgic and loving and at other times they were awful. I then became completely addicted to Grey's and continued to watch. One of the reasons I binge watch Netflix is that I'm tired of the news media and seeing all the bad and wrong in the world. I'm tired of people not accepting others just the way they are. That's not how I was brought up. And the more I watched, the more I realized again that I wasn't alone. I LOVE the way this show depicts people of all different nationalities, races, sexual preference, etc. as NORMAL. It's so absolutely refreshing. All that being said - I already was beginning to think Shonda is my "spirit animal" - lol!!! I don't know her at all, but already I'm feeling closer to her than a lot of my friends. So I decided to go on Amazon and see if she ever wrote anything, and lo and behold I found Year of Yes. All I can say is Wow!!! From saying out loud "wtf" to her eye twitching to putting phrases on things I have done all my life like "pushing it down and putting food on it" - I have never been able to relate more to someone. This is the BEST book - I highly recommend everyone read it, especially women!! I absorbed it in the course of 2 days, and can honestly say that the book and what Shonda writes has already changed me for the better. She validates the scared, angry, confused feelings we all have, and our tendencies as women to not step out of the box. Shonda Rhimes - you are truly an inspiration and someday I hope I have the honor of actually meeting you in person, but for now I am just going to say Thank You from the very bottom of my heart for the shows you have created to this book. You have helped a stranger realize her own strength and self worth more than you will ever know!

Where to begin? I guess by saying that Amazon thinks 3-stars is negative revview, but I don’t. 3-stars, to me, is a B. A perfectly respectable assessment. But let me disabuse you of any dis-ingenuousness: My brain is a B brain (let’s be real, it’s a C+ brain. I hate my brain. It isn’t my parents’ brain. I’m just average. Forever average. No matter how hard I work. ) Which is probably why I felt some sort of way about this book -- and give it a B. Shonda. Brilliant Shonda. And she IS brilliant. Brilliant, and wafting off a little too much “talented tenth” and “if you just work hard, you can do ANYTHING!” vibe in this book. (Yes, everyone should work hard, but hard work doesn’t automatically equal success. A misnomer I think the 21st century has adopted. Cultural factors PLAY A ROLE! Especially when you’re in the “C+ group.”) Be sure: I’m conflicted. SOOOOOOOO conflicted. But, I gotta say YES to my emotions after reading this. Again, where to begin? I guess by saying that I’m not a fan of Shonda’s shows. I’m not. But that’s just because Netflix and Amazon Prime are my TV now…so, I rarely turn on the TV. But, in “sister solidarity” I had to buy this book. I WANTED to support Shonda, since I don’t support her TV work with views. My first, “Oh no, I feel weird,” came along when she talks about her daughters. Adopted me felt…uncomfortable. WHY did she feel the need to have a biological daughter after having two adopted daughters? It’s fine. It's her choice. Of course it is. I know. Don’t throw poop in my face for saying that. But as an adopted person, I was just washed over with this feeling of, “WHY!?” And then she talked about her biological daughter like she was Yoda incarnate…..and, and, and…..yeah….I just hope Shonda checks herself...regularly…about how she treats them all. It’s easy to say something, but then act another way, without anyone telling you otherwise. Egalite! Also, there is a LOT of mommy talk in this book. If you don’t have kids – it may annoy you. My second, “I have to click off,” was the chapter about being an “F.O.D.” Ya know what? Nope. I can’t get into it. But it was a little too…no, I can’t. I’ll be awash in criticism, and I can’t deal with that right now. All I will say is, that, as a black woman, with a C+-brain no matter how hard I try, I had a HARD time with that chapter. And her general stance. My third, “Yikes, I’m not sure I love this,” was the Oprah-ness of it all. Please don’t read me wrong. I respect the Mighty O. She’s done her. Nature bless. But……..yeah. Ultimately, read it. Of course, read it. For people who are already A-brained, and just don’t know it, it will be a boon to your confidence. But in my estimation, for the rest of us….not so much. Good, but, ultimately, a smidgen – just a smidge – out of my emotional and practical grasp. Had a hard time relating. Or something…..gah, maybe I should have waited to post this…..but, there’s got to be others of us out there, right? Yes!

This book is really awesome. It has encouraged me to say Yes to everything that I love doing but normally wouldn’t because of fear or I just don’t make time for those things. This books got me out of my comfort zone.

Good book but very poor quality print

Merci Shonda RHIMES, ce livre remplace tous les cours, les formations de développement personnel! Ce livre est fantastique, j'aime beaucoup la transparence de Shonda Rhimes sur va vie perso et professionnelle, son écriture, ses phrases clés qui restent marquer dans l'esprit! Elle est top! The Year of Yes est un livre de chevet à lire dès qu'on a un peit coup de "mou". YES!!!

Such an amazing book. I love the carefree way she describes her experiences. Made me a bit more courageous. Made me say more Yes. Recommended it to all my friends

Very interesting.